Wednesday, April 30, 2008

First It's Candy, Then It's Gum

Have you ever found that it's the very things you like about yourself that sometimes drive you crazy?

For example, say you are organized. So much so that people view you as being able to get more done, so they give you more to do.

Who says an organized person wants more to do? Maybe they have enough to do already.

OR for example, say you are a neat-freak. So much so that you cannot stand it when there are scuff marks on the floor or you search for hours for the source of the bad smell.

How is that a good thing? Spending hours each weekend, cleaning?

These are two things that should be good qualities, yet sometimes they are a downfall. Things always get messy and disorganized so you are back to square one. Perhaps there is something to be said for those who are messy can only handle one task at a time. I'll never know.

Ok so moving on.

Getting past the challenges of the week, hump day is over. Tomorrow is my Friday. I wish I could say my Friday plans involve eating bon bons and watching TV. Sadly it does not. It involves moving crappe from storage out to the truck, to be sold and/or exchanged for more usable stuff. That's right, it's ~


While it is lots and lots of work. It yields lots of toddler clothing, toys and perhaps something we can use in the house. Friday is the set-up/drop off and Saturday is the sale. It's a huge volunteer effort that we hope will bring in $1,000 to be donated in scholarships to the local high schools.

I am always excited about this time of year. I'll let you know how it goes!


Disregard previous post.

Xanax is a wonderful thing. Heh.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

At This Very Moment

Top five things bugging the crappe out of me, right now~

1. Itchy eyes.

2. 3 hour meeting after 8 hr work day.

3. Someone in my parking spot when I got home from work today.

4. Ungrateful teenager, who has lost computer privileges for tomorrow.

5. A possible pinched nerve in my hand.

6. Anxiety attack.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Any Typical Monday

I'm home early. Home from my night meeting. It lasted ONE HOUR. My group is attending a larger televised meeting.

I am watching it on local access as I type. There is nothing exciting going on AT ALL. I am thrilled to not be there and almost, a teeny tiny bit of almost, feel bad that several members are still there.

Ok, I'm over it now.

Today was filled with the usual Monday chaos. I was busy doing other stuff this weekend, so Monday greeted me with an empty fridge, empty water jugs and an empty wallet.

What else is new.

I got some belated flowers. And bossman, if you are reading (which I really hope you aren't but if you are, I'm not moving anymore) THANK YOU. They are roses and purple flowers and I love them. They are living on my kitchen table and I hope they last the week.

My son's day wasn't the best, nor mine (see empty wallet reference). He had his consultation for orthodontia today. This involves, x-rays (many), digital pictures of teeth (using these plastic mouth handles that stretch your mouth out so your teeth and gums are exposed) and impressions. I should mention here how my son has a strong GAG reflex. The lucky boy. And, while not diagnosed officially, I think he has some sensory issues also.

We got through it. I saw what he had for lunch and I don't think either of us are scarred for life. So let's go with that.

The bargain price for all this, not covered by my Dental Insurance was $300. Payable immediately, do not pass go. Do not collect. Pay.

And just to end the day on a fun note. I am wearing these trendy bell-bottom type jeans.

That my toe just got stuck in, as I went to get up, causing me to fall down on all fours, on the carpet, right by my bed, with a THUD and making me laugh and making my knees sting.

Oh yes, it's Monday.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Weekend By The Yard

We started our Saturday out by visiting a friend who had a yard sale. It was a nice way to start the morning, bobbing and weaving in and out of piles of stuffed animals and old books. I was anxious to start my day.

Not without first trying to get everyone a fresh picture of the baby. (I will disclose here that my entire house needs to be painted, so the outside theme, is peeling, ok?)

Here is try #1.

Here is try #2.

And finally, after shouting "Look a puppy". I got try #3.

After that I just gave up trying to take anymore pictures of her. There is no sitting still.

Here is the wagon, from the yard sale, it was free for the baby. The afternoon was spent carting around ...

The "baby". This baby did everything yesterday. Up and down the driveway, hanging on for dear life on the back of a riding toy. Playing in the dirt. Eating a snack. You name it, she did it.

This is the tree that is preventing me from buying and laying down mulch. Those pesky helicopters are eminent.

Here is the haul for the dump. Not too shabby. See the large branches?

I might have gone a little overboard. Heh. But, aside from the peeling paint, it looks a million times better. TRUST ME.

This is what I dealt with all day long. Gone are the clean, straight lines of my flower beds. The grass has taken over. And not the tiny sprigs of grass that you can pull up easily. It's the grass that requires lots of digging, swearing and kicking up of dry dusty dirt.

The end result is this. Sadly it's about an hour later before it looks like this even. While the landscapers estimate of $800 was outrageous, I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about it over the five hours I was in the yard, dealing with it.

This is my "state-of-the-art" irrigation system. I only got as far as hooking up the timer and the valves. My plan is to have the front of the house, GREEN this year. Instead of dried up and barren. I will be running two hoses that end with sprinkler heads and both will follow the new lines of the flower beds to strategic locations. Hopefully I can set the timer before I head to my night meeting and then set it again when I go in for the night and each section will get watered appropriately. Sounds good, doesn't it? WE SHALL SEE.

A close-ups of my favorite purple flower.

My sweet bell peppers.


Purple is the theme this year (and why don't they make black flowers anyway?)

Strawberries in the making.

Marigolds anyone?

Friday, April 25, 2008

For The Love Of Friday

This weekend, I think, will be all about the yard. There are vagrant weeds, a couple of bushes that need to go, edging to be done, hoses to layout, grass seed to be put down, etc.

I could be painting. But, you know, I'm taking WAY TOO LONG on that project. It should be done by now, according to my daughter. To be fair, she has nothing in room but newspaper, paint cans and her bed. Realistically, I know I am doing the best that I can.

I told her she has my blessing to paint. Her reply? Not this week, it's vaaacaaashon.

Anyway, yard work is holding more appeal. My container garden is all planted. Flowers are all settled into their new homes, which turned out to be on the railings. Apparently when you are almost two, it is next to impossible to allow a flower to live. So up high seems best.

Now I just want to know ...

Is it 4 PM yet?

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

What Do You Expect When You Skip?

Ok so I skipped another controversial committee meeting tonight. I KNOW. I KNOW. Why even stay on it at this point. I've missed ....what? .... three meetings the entire time I've been on it? Well to be fair, it's been almost three meetings in a row (hey, I did go to the last meeting, so you in the back? SHUT IT)

I simply cannot talk about traffic anymore in this one section of Town. Honestly, when I thought of going and THEN possibly combusting on the spot, I felt it would be better to take my two oldest children to buy flowers.

Ask me, if in hindsight, going would have been a better option?

Go ahead. Ask?

Can I get a HELL YES?

I thought, it might be nice, to wait until the baby was in bed for the night and go. Go is a relative term here. First we had to find sneakers and, oh I don't know, GET DRESSED maybe. Because it's an 11 and 14 year old thing to do, lounge around on school vacation in your pajamas (or even better, not shower for five days straight) (so not kidding).

Finally we get to leave. The ride to, uneventful. I get the carriage and my son leans over ...

"lets get your stuff quick so we can go right to the video games."

"yeah, NO, first I get what I need, then I get more of what I need and THEN, when you think all hope is lost, we will check out the video games."


Alright that's not what happened but I did mention the whole being RUDE thing and while I know they were both anxious to spend the money that has burned a hole in their pockets since Saturday's release of the new Pokemon DS game.

I relent. They each get their games mid-shopping. Finally we head over to the flowers. I'm beyond excited. You know, because I'm feeling earthycrunchy. The overhead door to the flower section is closed. The guy in the garden section asks me "did you want to see the flowers."

Clearly he didn't get the memo. "Yes, whatthefuck please." He painstakingly opens the door for me and the kids. He explains how the teenagers try and steal CDS at night in here and then follows us around asking the kids trivia questions (like what state name ends in "k") Weird. But whatever. I mention how I'm looking for snapdragons.

"Why so you can kill them again this year?" My daughter helpfully states.

"I did not kill off any snapdragons, what are you talking about?"

"Whatever" rolls eyes.

"Check out these Pansies." I say.

"The are all limp and dying. Why would you buy any plants HERE?" My daughter shrills.

"This is how Pansies look HONEY."

"Don't get any cactus, you definitely kill those." My son adds helpfully.

"Alright, what is going on here." "I am not the death of plants here".

"No but you had to pack up all my stuff from my room and now I can't find ANYTHING."

"So, lets see ... you can't find your DS and, it's all my fault?"


"And the flowers have nothing to do with it?"

"Well you still kill stuff too."

"Thanks for clarifying that for me." "Can I pick the flowers that are going to DIE in peace please?"


The rest of the trip was uneventful. If you don't count my throwing a 96 pack of diapers, which jumped out of my hands and thudded to the floor, as I tried to put it up on the counter to pay.

Oh and there was the tussle that broke out in the car (back seat to front seat) because my son has his DS and my daughter did not. There might have been some pinching involved and I did have to pull the jeep over in the parking lot and lecture them both about the whole "I'm ahead of you, na-na-na-na thing".

In the end, I got my flowers and I will be potting them tomorrow.

A Day For People Like Me

I have no idea who came up with Administrative Professionals Day. Hallmark perhaps?

Years ago when I worked for the big corporations I would always get this beautiful bouquet of flowers and a free lunch.

Nowadays I get anything ranging from a scratch ticket to tanning sessions. The funny thing is, I don't except anything. I made that comment yesterday to a couple of co-workers, not my boss and the laughed at me. They thought I was kidding. Like what secretary doesn't want recognition for what they do, when they have their own special day.


We had a long day with an inspector yesterday. Today is more of the same. I don't think it's even on my boss's radar.

I'm okay with that.

But I'm not going to sit here and say I wouldn't mind leaving early today or at some point this week.

Today it is suppose to be 80 degrees. Today I'd like to get myself a couple trays of flowers and do some planting after work.

I don't know why it's so important to me to do this, today. But I want to.

And I will. Hopefully.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

It's SO Annoying

Why is it, in high stress situations? You get a cold. Getting a bad visit from Aunt Flo? How about a side dish of stuffiness. Having inspectors coming to review your policies and assess the safety of your facility over the next few days? How about a nasally voice and cough to go with it.

Not to mention feeling exhausted because you expend all this extra energy trying to breathe through clogged nasal passages.

Yet life goes on.

Thank goodness for Puffs Plus w/ Lotion, Simply Saline and Airborne (even if it is just an immunity booster)

The drug store loves me this week.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Tidbits O' Weekend

It costs $15 to dispose of a box spring. It also costs $15 to dispose of a mattress. That is to assure that out of the $40 withdrawl I made, I will only have $10 for weekend spending.

Getting back to a daily walk around the block with my corgi. Is an excellent idea.

The front stairs leading up to our mailbox? A total hazard. Hopefully they will make it to Thursday (man's day off) when the boxes can be moved to a location at the bottom of the stairs.

Weeds are growing ALREADY.

How hard can edging be?

The movie, LARS and the Real Girl, is unusual but well worth watching.

Planning for a trip across your state and forgetting to pack a single essential item, WILL result in your having to purchase a single baby bottle and a quart of milk.

Expecting an 18-month old to ride nicely in the car at two hours stretches is just WRONG. It's cruel not only to the baby but to those who are riding in the car with her (Note To Self: Remember this fact).

Singing the praises of your GPS Tom Tom to your father because he always gets lost, will only result in them following you to go home but since you didn't program the GPS to begin with, when y ou program it yourself it will avoid any toll roads. Resulting in a 30 mile scenic ride in the dark.

Frustrating you, your son, the baby, you call your husband and share the stress with him by doing all of the following a) whining about how you need to get on the highway NOW b) make him google a map that will confirm you will indeed run into the toll road the GPS is avoiding for you and c) call him enough time to send him over the edge.

Marriage is about sharing.

Contributing to your children's future therapy, isn't a pretty sight. You might want to rethink that.

Watching a three month-old being baptized by extremely proud parents. Does make it all worthwhile.

I think.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Friday Gladness

Top five things I am happy about this Friday ~

1. I had the jeep checked, it's F-I-N-E. The mechanic thinks I ran through some gunky stuff and gave me the green light to travel.

2. I have a baby christening to attend on Sunday. While I don't look forward to the drive, I look forward to visiting with my cousins.

3. My minutes are done.

4. The baby is sleeping and I have the evening to myself. I plan on doing zero. (or even less than zero if that is at all possible.)

5. The weather is warm and my bedroom window is wide open.

Loving all of it tonight.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Have Your Head Served To You On A Platter

I lost it today, people. Lost it. I owe someone an apology and I feel bad.

Here's the story.

I work with a guy who cares. Actually I work with all guys and most of them care. I don't share my personal life with them because ... well ... most men are fixers. And I do not need my life fixed (I do have a man for that and he does just fine). So I keep quiet. I carry a lot of stress around with me.

I hide it well. I know this. I am maxed right now, in case any of you were wondering.

Cars are a hot button topic for me. (note to self: it's okay that cars are a hot button topic, everyone has something) I have had five cars in my 39 years. My first three were totaled , in accidents that I had nothing to do with. (see the above reference on the man that does just fine, fixing stuff) My fourth car had been in an accident prior to being sold to me. The frame was welded and it drove kinda funny but because HELLO I am lacking in experience with cars, we paid too much for it, we made costly repairs to it and in the end it was hazardous due to the weld coming apart. (thankfully our mechanic showed us it and insisted we trade it and never drive it again). My fifth car is my jeep. Bought brand new. My baby. I pink puffy heart it.

I've already been told that the steering box (a non-warranty covered item) will need to be replaced at some point. To the tune of $1000.

What I'm glazing over here is my past with cars. It's ugly. They breakdown on me, at the worst time or I am taken advantage of by mechanics that new I had no clue, etc. I could tell story after story of my poor luck with cars.

There are many "whys" but there is no excuse for my behavior today.

Ok, back to the guy who cares. I probably share more with him than anyone in the office. There are no women so I have to chat with someone. We've had our ups and downs and on my bad days it bothers me on many levels that I feel I don't meet his expectations ... but that's a post for another day.

Boy can I beat around the bush or WHAT?

He went out to get the mail. After he leaves, he usually calls me, about something he forgot to tell me or sometimes I call him to ask him a questions. My point is, it's not unusual for us to call each other.

He called me after he left.

Him: Did you know you've got this splatter like stuff on your jeep?
Me: Well ... I know it needs to be cleaned.
Him: No, it looks like something sprayed on the lower part of it.
Me: I have no idea what you are talking about but I do know it's DIRTY.
Him: Well I guess, did you also see you've got a dent in your door?
Me: YES, I saw that. It's been there.
Him: Oh ok, I was just letting you know.
Me: Thank you.
Him: You know when you wash it you should clean your wheels.
Me: Yes, we've already discussed that, I plan on doing it, today ok?
Him: Ok.

So I'll admit, I'm annoyed. I lied. I didn't notice any dent. I needed something from my jeep so while he was gone, I went out to check it.

Sure enough there was splatter on the passenger's side. (the side I don't see) It looked oily. It mixed in with the dirt. My wheels, filthy. Poor jeep. I didn't see any dent. THANK YOU GOD!

I left before he returned. I had to take my daughter to an ortho appointment. I came back and was doing my work when he mentioned going to lunch. Which he did. And when he came back, he said this.

Him: I think you need to take a look at your jeep.
Me: I went out there and looked, I saw the splatter. I have no idea what it is.
Him: I see puddles now. Two of them.
Him: I'm just saying.
Me: Ok, whatever.

Later on in the day, actually about twenty minutes before I needed to leave. He went outside. Then came back in.

Him: (pointing his finger at me, curing it, in a come-here fashion)
Me: What?
Him: You need to come outside now and look at your jeep.
Me: Why?
Him: I checked the wheel wells and I want you to see them.
Me: (gigantic eyeroll, while throwing my head and hands up) OH MY GOD!
Him: I think you need to see it.
Him: I think you need to come out and see.
Me: I am not going out there to look at it. I'm all set. (said in the most annoyed tone possible)
Him: Okay .... (walks away offended)

Now I'm pissed and annoyed. I don't need this. I don't need this right now. My jeep having problems. I don't need MORE to worry about. I go out there and I see two small puddles on either side of my wheel-well on the passenger side. I have no idea what it is.

My steering leaking? Maybe. My brakes? He thinks so.

He told me before I left that he's worried. Which is nice and kind, he's concerned. But why am I so fucking annoyed then? Oh yes, HOT BUTTON. HOT BUTTON. HOT BUTTON.

I drove it home, it was fine. I washed it. Washed the wheels. It's fine. I even jammed on my brakes a few times (not on purpose, but actually because I wasn't paying attention and didn't want to ... you know... hit the car in front of me) and they work. The same as they have been working.

I had my man look at it. He's worried too. He can't figure it out. He thinks I drove through something, maybe.

Or it's the steering box.

All I know, is I had some serious attitude and I directed it at someone who really didn't deserve it and now I'm sorry. I'll fix it tomorrow. And make an appointment for my jeep.


Where's The Confounded Bridge?

I have a business that services my lawn (YES, this blog is just THAT exciting, that I start out with these types of sentences, go me!). I do the mowing, they do that whole four times a year fertilizing stuff and they spray my overgrown hemlocks too. They are excellent and reasonable.

So when I inquired as to what the estimate would be for them to edge and mulch all my flower beds, the guy I deal with was more than willing to stop by and leave me the costs associated with this.

He forgot to mention I would need to give my left kidney.

Here's the estimate. Now keep in mind, I have weeded (for the most part) and removed all winter debris from these areas. My house sits on a "quarter" of an acre lot (read: tiny).

Labor: 14hrs $616.00
Mulch: 7 yards $197.00
Tax: $9.80
Fuel Surcharge: $25.00
Grand Total: $846.80

Apparently I live in lala land, because I honestly thought, you know, IT WOULD BE REASONABLE.

It might take me 14 hours to do this job but it certainly isn't going to take two guys more than maybe two hours to get it done. And I've gone the whole mulch route MYSELF. Four yards is plenty (and there will be extra, unless a yard isn't a yard anymore).

The most insulting is the "fuel surcharge". I know gas is expensive but YOU ARE RUNNING A BUSINESS THAT REQUIRES VEHICLES. Deal with it.

I know he can charge that because my business doesn't matter. But for that price, there should be a bridge involved ... don't you think?

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Team Cranky Now With Guilty By Association

The instructor, this morning, broke us all up into groups of three to do a station type work out. So while three of us did push-ups, another three of us did leg lifts, etc.

My group of three consisted of two other girls. One has been with this class since the beginning and the other is her sister in-law. They are nice and that was fine.

I, however, worked a 12-hour day yesterday. Went to bed at midnight (because heaven forbid the kitchen, you know, clean itself) so I could at least spend a little bit of time, unwinding.

This morning, I admit I was Mrs. Crankypants. The instructor kept bringing that point up but not focusing on me directly, just calling all three of us Team Cranky.

Bless his heart. It's catchy and fitting.

Everyone in my house yesterday after I got home from work. Cranky. The baby has taken to having tantrums at the worst times. And by worst times, I mean one right after another. If everything isn't done exactly as she wants, when she wants, how she wants, its this mad screaming fit. Joy!

I'm dealing with it. I get that she knows what she wants but can't verbalize it in a way I can understand it. I get that she knows what she wants to do but often her little hands or little legs can't master it.

Thankfully, a single donut snapped her out of the whole mess and she was a ray of sunshine for the remainder of the evening (special thanks to sugar).

I won't even get into my superlongsuperboring meeting last night.

Today I have a dentist appointment (cue the groaning here). I have canceled this appointment and rescheduled it twice now and I swear I heard a sigh of relief from the gal who called to confirm my appointment and I said "yes I will be there".

I haven't been in several years. More like three years. For a cleaning that is. I've had various teeth break or fillings that needed to get done. So while today should be easy and fun. I'm not looking forward to it. Anyone want to take best on how many cavities I have?

At least I can look forward to the new tooth brush and floss.

That's something right?

Sunday, April 13, 2008

The Weekend Is For ....

.... resting (thank you slick for pointing that out)

.... raking up stray leaves and trash (hey, I live by a convenient store, where it is convenient to throw stuff out the window that blows into my yard)

.... doing five loads of laundry (bite me!)

.... catching up on work (yes, I am that dull)

.... making a mixed CD of various artists for boot camp at 5 AM tomorrow (think Ozzy to Barenaked Ladies)

.... shopping for jeans with my man (is it sad that I just know what his waist size is?)

.... walking the dog (sorry to all the neighbors whose lawn she pooped on, I do not carry a baggie, EVER)

.... trying on pre-baby capri jeans that FIT (last time I tried them on, I cried when they wouldn't go over my hips)

.... reading and finishing a 354 page book (Joe Hill, Heart Shaped Box, Horror, EXCELLENT)

.... catching the finale of Rock Of Love II (ducks head)

Saturday, April 12, 2008


I just want to say, because I can ...

I totally feel like I am getting NOTHING done here in Mig's house and it's aggrevating ME.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Hoping It Lasts

Hello FRIDAY!!!!

I woke up this AM easily for a change and ~duh~ I am looking forward to get the day over with.

Now that's the attitude right? right? RIGHT? That's right.

I picked up my taxes yesterday and while I hate paying the fee to have them done, I love me some TAX RETURN MONEY. Nothing like saving your ass (and the house) at the last minute.

Tonight is bookclub and while that sounds like the ultimate meeting of dorkiness, (and that too is a word) I am looking forward to it.

I'm counting on it getting me through the day ... well that and some Red Bull.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Middle School Talent

Every once in awhile, as a parent, I'd like to think I get it right. Oh I can do the day to day stuff like police homework, pack lunches and monitor bedtime. But randomly I hit on stuff that gets my children to talk to me, openly about whatever is on their minds.

I get that closeness with them that I don't get every day. I don't mean the I love you's or the thank you mom's. I mean those moments where their guard is completely down. Those moments that, as a mom, you want to last forever.

A notice came home from school last week for a Talent Show. I stuck in on the fridge and decided we would go. Neither of my middle school children said anything to me, I just declared it. Not really knowing if it was the right thing or not.

Yesterday was the date. Mid-week. Mid-chaos and finally an evening off for me. Instead of hiding up here on the computer all night long. I came home, cooked a quick dinner, packed a bag of entertainment for the baby and we went.

My kids? Beyond excited. Score one for me.

Not more than two minutes after arriving, my daughter found a friend of hers (and her Mom) for us to sit with. My son? Sat next to me for two seconds before asking if he could go and sit with some friends who yelled out to him as we came in. It took no encouragement at all for him to ditch me.

The baby? Got her own special introduction by the teacher who MC'd the show. When I introduced her and said her age, we got an audience of oooohs and a round of applause. The baby was adorable and my daughter? At that moment? Proud to be her sister.

The show? I have a couple things to say. One, high pitched girls screaming non-stop for every performance, sucks. I think I am now deaf. Two, eighth grade girls need to realize that flutes? Are lame. Three, I give all the performs a yit load of credit because standing up their on stage, even lip syncing takes some serious balls. AND. Four, the boys who did a rendition of Ozzy's Crazy Train was awesome. The singer was terrible pitchwise but he had the best stage presence. The lead guitarist, had it together and was the calmest out of everyone and the drummer? Was cute in an 8th grade sort of way. They rocked. Yet they didn't win.

I had to make a hasty exit after a special education boy sang solo Tears In Heaven. I was sitting right next to his parents and why the baby chose the moment of their son's song to decide that she would be LOUD I have no idea. No amount of bottle (she emptied it before he was done with the first verse), crackers (she dumped them on the slanted floor and stepped on them) or blanket could keep her quiet.

We hung by the "exit" sign after that and she did much better.

The best part, of all this, was the end. I had taken the baby home (along with my son who was bored by then) at intermission and came back to watch the rest of the show. I sat with my girl and wished those last 45 minutes would never end.

We had some great discussion about the acts, about the music that was performed and about the students themselves on the ride home.

I kept it all going, stopping to pick up everyone's favorite ice cream sundaes. We all sat at the kitchen table sharing our thoughts about the show.

The smiles I got at bedtime last night?


Wednesday, April 9, 2008

A Better Picture

My one positive of the day.

As of today, I can hold this position for three minutes. YES I CAN. And I am proud of it. It IS hard. Go ahead. Try it. I'll wait.

I'll Be Nice Now

Alright, I'm tired of loading up my blog and seeing the finger.

My goal today is to think nice thoughts and try and not be witchy.

Wish me luck!

Monday, April 7, 2008

To Those Who Make A Mockery Of Me

I may not have the guts to do this IRL but this is what I say to you, Mr. Chairman and other members of my Committee that don't want to listen to my answers and instead want to hold hard and fast onto your beliefs that what you think is true.

Feelin' Anxious

Because it has gotten me into so much trouble in the past, I tend to avoid talking about work here. Today I am going to be doing something that is a good thing for the company but I am not feeling comfortable doing it.

Sounds cryptic doesn't it?

I wish I could elaborate and if you read back in my posts I did mention one aspect of it. I'd link to it here but I'm pressed for time today.

I have a wake to attend today. I'm sad about that.

And just because it's Monday, I think that my night job might have some sort of confrontation waiting for me. I hope I'm wrong. But last week I managed to avoid it, this week I'm thinking perhaps not.

What a way to start the week.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Go Me

Two doors in my daughters room are now coated in black paint (this is part of the color scheme). Yeehaw.

Next up, the roller.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Doing Everything .. But ...

Painting today and it's frustrating. I don't know what my problem is. It's almost like I'm procrastinating but with other chores.

For example:

Laundry (Wash, Fold, Put Away) - 5 loads
Bathrooms (Cleaned & Sanitized) - 2
Floors (Swept and Washed) - 1
Carpets Vacuumed - 2
Misc. Items Put away - 2,456,789
Bills Paid - 7
Paperwork Sorted/Filed - 43
Staircases Swept - 3
Errands Run - 4
Child Drop Off - 1

Not mentioned above is the number of times I went up and down the stairs, if you want to know the exact number for that you will have to ask my knees.

Not mentioned is the lunch I made for myself and the baby AND dinner for five of us. Dishes were loaded into the dishwasher and it is now running.

Not mentioned is the two sets of minutes that I need to have ready for Monday that aren't even started, YET. ~sigh~

I did get into my daughter's room and pick up her dirty laundry and stack the remaining items onto her bed so I could cover it with plastic. You know BECAUSE I DO WANT TO PAINT IN THERE. She's at a friend's for the night.

And, what did I find? Funny you should ask. It appears that one of my lovely kitties used the plastic (that I left in a pile on the floor) as the toilet. Could I have noticed this BEFORE I pulled it over the new bed frame?

Ummmm no. Yes it is disgusting. Yes I did clean it up.

Now it's 9:00 PM and I am beat. I am watching Death at a Funeral and eating Cinnamon Fire Twizzlers.

So much for the painting.

Friday, April 4, 2008


I just have to get through the day.

I just have to get through the day.

I just have to get through the day.

And then its the weekend.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Me & Her, Then & Now

There is a lot going on right now with my 8th Grader. There have been some subtle changes in her behavior toward me and the family in the past several weeks.

I know it's all part of her growing up and I now know what it is like to be the parent of an 8th Grader. It sucks. It is hard. On both of us.

She is moody. She is easily offended. She won't wear make-up of any kind. She brushes her hair in the car every morning as we drive to school. She keeps her hair brush in the car. She has no problem wearing jeans that are a size or two too small, high-waters, with sports striped socks. She carry's a backpack that weights 50lbs with her school books, whether she needs them or not. She also carry's an over the shoulder notebook, filled with 8-10 Anime Cartoon Books. She is a smart A-B student. She might brush her teeth twice a week. She loves the computer.

Me at her age?

I was bitchy. I would cry everyday over some trivial matter. I wore black eyeliner. My hair had to be perfect before I left the house each day. My jeans were well fitting and snug in the right places. I carried no books but always had a pen and comb in my back pocket. I might carry a reading book. I was a solid C student. I would brush my teeth twice a day. I had skin care regimine that I followed. I had no idea what a computer was.

I look at my daughter and see someone I don't understand. I know she is feeling hormonal. I know this past week she's been feeling down. She assures me that she is fine. She tells me her lack of "goodbye" and blown kiss when she closes the car door as I drop her off, is normal and I shouldn't take it personally. She wants me to give her space.

I am pretty sure my Mom felt the same way when I was in 8th Grade. I think if she had known that I would take my 12 speed bike and ride around looking for boys, she'd of been horrified. She never knew that I didn't fit in with any of the girls my age and never saw that my friendships with the neighborhood girls (who were five years younger than me) no longer worked. For years she would encourage me to visit with them. I think she picked what she wanted to see about me.

So why is it I constantly want to hug my baby and that I try each and every day to see her beautiful smile to show her in some way, how much I love her.

Oh yes, because now it's my turn.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

To The Max

Is the new theme here, not enough time? Don't answer that. It would appear so. As I sat at my meeting last night (one that I am paid for) and the engineer droned on and on about stuff I cannot even begin to comprehend, I was thinking ...

Thinking about why it is that I torture myself week after week doing this particular job. I used to be motivated. I used to enjoy it. Now we desperately need the cash so I'm keeping it up and plotting when I can let it go.

It didn't help that this particular meeting went unitl 11:30 PM last night. It doesn't help now that I'm going to work my day on four freaking hours of sleep.

Nothing like anxiety to keep you going. Heh.

Tonight it's controversial committee time. And as always, the morning of the meeting, I'm thinking I'd like to quit. I creatively skipped the last couple work meetings and am seriously considering knawing my arm off to skip this one too.

And it's only Wednesday.