Sunday, March 25, 2012

I Find Myself Unmotivated

I am not sure what is going on in my brain these past two days.  Its a whole lot of nothing, in a weird way.  Because I am a girl who cannot sit still.  I have dishes to do, laundry to check, a five year old chattering at me constantly with a trail of toys in her wake, I sort.  I organize.  I prepared.

This weekend?  Not-so-much.  Not at all.  I've been reading.  50 Shades of Grey by E.L. James.  I read that entire book in one day.  Yesterday to be exact. Oh I did the barest minimum of tidying but little else.  (and no laundry, which makes me feel like a rebel because THERE WILL BE NO SOCKS soon!)

And today?  Today I'm reading 50 Shades of Dark.  (Book Two)  I like the characters, I like the story.  I'm hooked.  I also slept until about 10 AM.

See what I mean?  Unlike me.  Its weird.

I did just find out on Friday that my Aunt is close to dying and she and my mother were very close.  My Aunt was the oldest girl out of the eight kids in their family.  Eight kids?  Can you imagine?  My Grampy died just after their youngest child was born.  He worked in construction and fell off scaffolding to his death.  My Nana was a widow at 29 and never remarried.  My Uncle Paul was the youngest.  (who incidentally died last year of cancer.)  My other Uncle and his Wife were my Godparents.  They both passed away  years ago now.  An Irish Catholic Family.

I saw my mother today and she was fine.  She takes it all in stride.  Or she never cries in front of me.  It was business as usual as I met up with her at the supermarket today.  Helping my brother, it gives her something to do.  For forty eight years she has taken care of my brother.  She mothers him like he is ten.  It drives me insane when she tells him to wear a coat.  What to think.  Changing out his apartment curtains at her whimsy.  My brother simply lets her.  I feel she has made him too dependent on her.  But as a mother, I can understand her not wanting to let go.  He does need some assistance.

So, it's 3:51 now and clearly I am not going to be able to figure out what is up with this sedate state of mine.  (say that five times fast, haha)

I might as well watch some TV instead.