Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Very Late Tuesday Night

Its four minutes to Wednesday and I'm sitting here WIDE AWAKE.  Honestly, all afternoon I've been on this "high".  My weight is fantastic, my husband and I are mended, oldest is at college, my boy is trudging along Senior Year and my youngest ....

has joined the ranks of first grade, loving every minute of it.  Her enthusiasm for school really astounds me.  She loves it more than both her brother and her sister combined.  Of course the daily math homework can get prickly but overall? A+

In other news, my parents have settled in downstairs.  They sold their house, about thirty minutes away, and I asked them to move here.  I am lucky to have an understanding man.  I think he secretly knows that the key to my and our happiness is to work with me.  So they are here, paying rent and entertaining and being entertained by my youngest.  She loves to visit and I enjoy catching their laughter together, as I bring laundry up and down from the basement. 

Even our latest kitten (striped fella named Tiger) finds his way down to their apartment.  To be lavished with attention and antics.

Its been an adjustment for me, seeing my parents every day.  I feel blessed.  We are helping each other.  I didn't realize how badly my father had become.  No formal diagnosis yet but I'd say its mid stage of dementia.  Its very difficult on my Mom.  Its confusing for my Dad.  I'm watching it, and at the ripe age of 44, freaking out about it.

My Dad was an only child.  My Italian grandmother spoiled him.  He was the apple of her eye.  He was raised in the comforts of an high middle class family.  He managed to avoid the draft of the Vietnam War.  He went to college and studied physics.

He taught me (without realizing it) at a very young age, how to swear in Italian.  Complete with the Italian sault!

That person is gone.  Replaced by someone that tries to drink ketchup from the little container, that can't open a door because its locked and the words.  There are no words.  He, she, yes and this weird bah-bah-bah-boom chant is all I hear him utter.  He makes gestures and sometimes he just shrugs his shoulders, when you ask him something.

Its heavy on my mind.  Has been for a week or more.  I know, I need to come to terms with it, there isn't any changing it, its something I can't control.  I have faith.  I pray.  I will accept it.

In the meantime, ballet/tap lessons have started.  Art class and Daisy Scouts are back also.  I'm volunteering at the library book sale every month, which is truly a HIGHLIGHT.  Yes, I have a kindle, yes I have a tablet but I still love books.  It is also a great way to purge stuff too.

I've been creating some Halloween D├ęcor and I can't wait to get out my straw garland and pumpkins.  Fall is here and I love the change of season.  I've had my eye on some cornstalks and my Mom got a scarecrow and watering can to add into the mix.  I'm sure it will be interesting.  I have to keep it as unscary as possible, yah know.

Well, I just remembered something here ... that my back is WRENCHED.  This little reminder was brought to you by the incredible pinching pain that I just experienced when I thought I could take a quick break.  NOT.  Now I'm sitting here going ... ow .... ow ..... ow ..... ow .... owthefuckow .....

It was better, I swear.  I actually saw my doctor today (routine, I'm fine) and I mentioned it to her.  Explained how much I love IKEA but their super big and pretty armoires pretty much suck to try and pick up after its been assembled.  I strained it.  Bad enough that it hurt when I cough.

Then it got better.  And by better I mean that I could cough and there was no hurt.  But I was still feeling sore.  Saturday was when I strained it, now its Tuesday, it "was" better.

My man, reached over me in a quick manner, it didn't have time to move and I wasn't really sure what was going on.  There was some smacking and clapping. As it turns out, he was killing a small spider that had dropped down from my lamp (right next to me).  So while I forgive him, I'm back to square one as of this very moment.


I'm feeling tired now.  G'nite.