There is a lot going on right now with my 8th Grader. There have been some subtle changes in her behavior toward me and the family in the past several weeks.
I know it's all part of her growing up and I now know what it is like to be the parent of an 8th Grader. It sucks. It is hard. On both of us.
She is moody. She is easily offended. She won't wear make-up of any kind. She brushes her hair in the car every morning as we drive to school. She keeps her hair brush in the car. She has no problem wearing jeans that are a size or two too small, high-waters, with sports striped socks. She carry's a backpack that weights 50lbs with her school books, whether she needs them or not. She also carry's an over the shoulder notebook, filled with 8-10 Anime Cartoon Books. She is a smart A-B student. She might brush her teeth twice a week. She loves the computer.
Me at her age?
I was bitchy. I would cry everyday over some trivial matter. I wore black eyeliner. My hair had to be perfect before I left the house each day. My jeans were well fitting and snug in the right places. I carried no books but always had a pen and comb in my back pocket. I might carry a reading book. I was a solid C student. I would brush my teeth twice a day. I had skin care regimine that I followed. I had no idea what a computer was.
I look at my daughter and see someone I don't understand. I know she is feeling hormonal. I know this past week she's been feeling down. She assures me that she is fine. She tells me her lack of "goodbye" and blown kiss when she closes the car door as I drop her off, is normal and I shouldn't take it personally. She wants me to give her space.
I am pretty sure my Mom felt the same way when I was in 8th Grade. I think if she had known that I would take my 12 speed bike and ride around looking for boys, she'd of been horrified. She never knew that I didn't fit in with any of the girls my age and never saw that my friendships with the neighborhood girls (who were five years younger than me) no longer worked. For years she would encourage me to visit with them. I think she picked what she wanted to see about me.
So why is it I constantly want to hug my baby and that I try each and every day to see her beautiful smile to show her in some way, how much I love her.
Oh yes, because now it's my turn.
3 comments:
I'm going through the same thing with my 12 yr old 7th grader. She and I used to have the best of relationships and now we're constantly arguing. But she's a good kid with decent grades, she's just "fighting the system" right now.
I think we just need to hang in there and get through it the best we can. But I sure do miss the days that she wouldn't leave my side and always had hugs and kisses and I love you's!
I think she's at the age where she's starting to become her own person. Like she said, don't take it personally.
Hang in there, she'll come around.
Wow, you have posted 112 times since I last read!! Oh, right, that's MY fault. I see...
I feel for you on this one, Mig. I really do. It is so hard to love them and yet give them space. It's hard to protect them from the world and yet let them live in it, too.
Her passions won't be the same as yours, but that's good!! Your family and the world need her talents in addition to yours! She has established her own sense of beauty and priorities and that's okay, too.
Hang in there, girl. Spend some time with just the two of you and love her to pieces even when she resisits (cause how many of us longed for those hugs even when we acted like we didnt' want them at all?!)
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