Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Often, Seldom, Never

I have decided that out of all of the years of growth my children have experienced so far, I like the "teenager" the least. And the kicker is I do remember being mean and ungrateful and all that jazz to my own mother during my teen years.

And yeah, payback is a bitch and all that jazz. But each and every day I find myself astounded at the lengths my girl will go to, to just be miserable.

Today, she had her yearly well-visit with the pediatrician. He spoke to both of us about how she can now see a gynecologist, if we choose to go that route. He did the height and weight stuff and then he took her over to his little lab to do a little blood test for anemia.

My girl? Had no desire to go to this appointment, W.H.A.T.S.O.E.V.E.R. I asked her why and she just shrugged her shoulders. I made the statement about how this is part of life and how important her health is. She just groaned. Then I point blank said this ...

"You mean to tell me, you have a poor attitude about going and I'm the one who gets to bare the brunt of it."

"I guess so." Was her reply. Her honest smacks me in the face like a stone.

But I digress. So the doctor took her over to his little lab area and keep in mind the entire time she's like a zombie. I take that back, make her a frowning, glaring eyed zombie with an i-pod. I can hear him asking her questions about her diet and her bowel habits and then finally I hear this ...

"Are you alright?"

I had to take a few steps back so I didn't LAUGH RIGHT IN THEIR SPACE. She played it off like she was feeling under the weather from a cold. (she has a cold? how did I miss that?) She did perk up after that and stop with the monosyllables and laughed a few times.

Part of this visit involved my answering a list of 50 questions about her behavior. They ranged from asking if my teenager spends time alone alot to her attention span. A point is tallied for Seldom and two points for Often, never is a zero.

My total for her was TEN. And that was being generous and they were Seldom's. But I wished they had asked if I ever felt the urge to eat my young because these days? I'd have to say OFTEN.

We got through the appointment but getting through the next three years? Isn't going to be easy, often or seldom.


Sassy said...


When she has to see the gyno, they will probably be checking her for a pulse.

Poor girl! Poor you!

Amy said...

This is hysterical. I love this post!! Eat my young?! It's too much!!!