Screaming In My Head

Has anyone seen my liquid eyeliner? Seriously? I keep all my daily items in one single, solitary spot. I am not messy. I am methodical. The baby did not take it. There have been no other children in my room (that I know of). Yet it is missing.

I searched downstairs for it. I checked the trash, which is gross and I would have remembered if I tossed it. Then I inspected my oldest's eyes. And basked in their youthful glow. To which she rolled them and said MOM, I haven't seen your eyeliner.

Damn.

I found a replacement and moved on. There is no dwelling when time is limited in the early AM hours. I should mention here that I am anxiously waiting for the end of the school year. It's a landmark year for my oldest. The eighth grade graduate.

There was no further talk of who loves who more. Although I did ask my son his thoughts on the matter. Did he think I loved him more? His answer was to ask me "What time of the day is it?" I have no idea what he meant (ok, well maybe I do. Like I yell more, at him, at the end of the day, lalalalala) but just to be clear... I gave him the I love all three children equally speech. Bases covered.

Today my oldest was invited to go to the MALL with her best friend. There was to be shopping for the upcoming 8th grade Award Ceremony. So, wanting to express some "extra" love on her I slipped her a $20 so she could get herself some music or books. I had to stop and ask myself if that's the teenage language for love. Because I got a very sweet hug for it.

She left riding with her friend's Aunt in a white Chrysler Convertible. I may have been a little jealous. Watching her grow up is not easy on me. She paves the way for her brother and sister and, while I know she feels that weight on her (along with my harping on her to be polite, learn willingly and get good grades) she has done nothing but make me proud.

Ahem.

It was all the usual nutty stuff this afternoon. Trying to juggle a toddler literally wrecking my house while I sort mail and make dinner. I think I might have lost it a little when she was stuffing Life Cereal in the heating grate. Oh and perhaps when she dug up my green bean plants, too.

I took her and the dog for a walk to get some fresh air (and maybe restrain her for a while) and she lugged her blanket along too. Why I don't remember how much my leg hurts until I do these things is beyond me.

But the kicker? Still can't find that eyeliner.