Tuesday, June 10, 2008

You Love Him More ...

Four words I knew would be coming. Four words that I wasn't sure when they would be said but I figured it was inevitable.

Turns out today was my day.

As I rode with my daughter to the grocery store, just hours ago, we had the following conversation ~

Her: Does this get me out of carrying the groceries in the house?
Me: Is that the only reason why you wanted to come with me?
Her: Yes.
Me: Well (insert brothers name here) usually does it anyway, so it is not like you are actually getting out of anything.
Her: Oh I know, he's your chore boy. Can I help you with anything? (she says this mocking her brother)
Me: I always ask you BOTH to help. He responds. You don't.
Her: I know, I know. I'm lazy. I'm the teenager.
Me: (laughs) That's right.
Her: He will do whatever you ask, when you ask it. Not me.
Me: Well you are a different person.
Her: Yes, I am and you love him more.


Me: What?
Her: You heard me, you love him more.
Me: I don't think so.
Her: You do.
Me: No, I love your DAD more. Dad first, children second. He will be the one left when you all grow up and leave me.
Her: (shrugs)
Me: It doesn't matter what I say here, you aren't going to believe me but I love all three of you equally. You need to remember that each of you are different.
Her: You are right Mom, I'm not going to believe you.
Me: I felt the same way about my brother and my parents. They always did more for him, than me.
Her: Oh really?
Me: YES and to this day, I would say they loved him more.
Her: (silent)

Alright so I s~t~r~e~t~c~h~e~d the truth a bit. I don't really believe that about my brother. But when I was her age, I totally did. Probably because I was the one getting into trouble. I was the one shoplifting and lying about where I was and who I was with. My brother? Has mental issues and ... well ... lets just say it's taken me ... years (maybe even until now) to realize that I was a different kid (a kid that lived in the real world, not in my head). They needed to focus on him and get him treatment for his issues.

While I grew cobwebs sitting in the recliner waiting to not be grounded and plotting my escape. Two different upbringings but really? It's all the same.


Amy said...

Yowza. Didn't see that one coming. I think it's so hard during the teenage years to feel loved ENOUGH. Perhaps she's just nudging you in her quiet way to say that she needs more? Have you read the love languages book? Maybe that'd be a good talking point with her.

Sassy said...

I really don't know what to say because I don't have children.

Plan a mother/daughter day. She will feel more focused on and maybe she will open up even more.

Other than that, don't worry. You seem like a wonderful mother to me and I'm sure your daughter knows you love her just as much.