Some Random Funny

My oldest is taking a Comedy and Satire elective at school.

I was reading through her papers. They all are funny in their own way (hence the class title right?).

Here is a sample of Comedy in the form of jokes, a page and half to be exact, I re-typed my personal favorites ~

Welcome to the church of vegetables, lettuce pray

Two muffins were in an oven. One says, "It's hot in here!" The other one says, "OH GOD A TALKING MUFFIN!" (this one is my daughter TOTALLY)

If barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

When every thing's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

When you're right no one remembers, when you're wrong, no one forgets...

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives.

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

I saw Elvis. He sat between me and Bigfoot on the UFO.