Notes To Self

1. Yelling at the idiot driver in front of you does nothing but encourage your two year old to shout things from the back seat .... like … “go duuuuudddddeeeee” and “the light is green ... duh!”. Try and contain yourself.
2. Just because your daughter walks next to you with her arms across her chest, insisting she walks like that ALL THE TIME and looking like a freak, does not mean that is the way she really walks. You will see her ten minutes later walking with her friends and swinging her arms, all normal. Sometimes it’s all just a show to make you crazy. Remember that.
3. Hershey Chocolate Chips are the devil in disguise.
4. The tree swing is a good thing. Just because the toddler wants to go on it 24/7 does not make it bad. Be nice.
5. Ants are smart. Keep paper towels and Raid handy so none escape when you spy them on the kitchen counter.
6. It’s not the dog’s fault that no one takes her out and she ends up peeing on the floor. Deal with it.
7. Really, your Teenagers will be grateful that you are going the extra mile to make sure that they have those little extras ... like band-aids, a new toothbrush, deodorant, tiny shampoo and conditioners to use while they are away.
8. Eye rolling is really just how to communicate a "thank you for caring" so be sure to interpret it correctly.
9. Crying in the shower is really a normal thing, just ask anyone.
10. And last but not least, worrying in advance does not change a thing, if it happens, it happens.