Friday, December 5, 2008

Hard To Hear

Here's a new flash. It came straight out of left field, in the form of a phone call, at the end of my workday. (like I was almost out the door and took one last call)

A call from my Ex-Best Friend's Husband.


Her husband called ME. At work. I was stunned. He did say hello and at the end he asked me to say hello to my man and the kids ... but it was the inbetween stuff that stunned me. Statments like this (there were so many, all so fast, I'm sure I didn't get them all):

"We saw you at the Christmas Parade."

"Listen, every time she sees you she looses it."

"You email her and it sends her into a tailspin."

"She cries for days, weeks at a time."

"She loves you, you know."

"She needs you."

"She needs a friend."

"Don't you need a friend?"

"This has gone on long enough."

"I should have called you a year ago."

"This is killing her."

"You were such good friends."

"You either need to be in her life or out completely."

"She's writing out Christmas cards and agonizing over yours."

"I told her I was going to call you, a long time ago."

"She didn't tell me I couldn't."

"She seemed okay with that, my calling you."

"She sees you and she runs away."

"She got your email, what is it, over a month ago and she is still crying over it."

"Don't tell her I called you though."

"I just thought you should know."

"I hoped you would understand."

"Can you work it out?"

"Can you just talk to her and work it out?"


My replies were ... Yes, Ok, I had no idea, I understand and thank you for telling me. By the end he was crying and so was I. Who am I kidding, I am still crying. Trying to process it all. Trying to make some sort of sense of the message he was trying to relay.

Trying to figure out what to do and feel that my heart is breaking at the same time.


Amy said...

It is going to end with you closing the door. But I think you will have to do that in her presence. She needs the door to be shut, but she cannot do it. She needs you to close it. Nicely, but firmly. So that she can grieve once and for all and move on.

It will not be easy on your heart, but it has to be done.

(Was the the right answer? Cause I still don't know for sure. This is a tough one.)

Sassy said...

It depends on what happened. Do I know what happened?

It sounds like she cares a great deal for you. Can the friendship be repaired?