Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Blue Eyes

Dear B,

I cannot imagine what your life is like now, one moment you are late for school, riding with a friend and the next, you hit a tree and you are gone. Did you stay at the scene? Are you watching over you Mom, Dad, Brother or Sister? Can you see us?

I wish I knew. I wish there was something I could say to your family that would put them instantly at ease, or for a moment, make them feel that you are okay in your new place, that you are with them and will be always.

We were at your wake last night, long after visiting hours had ended. Sitting with family we hadn't seen in too long. All of us crying, now and then. Your life had only just begun and now its over. So unfair.

We spent a while looking at all your pictures with your Mom. She told us about the different places you were in each picture and we talked about which one was our favorite. There were so many of you with your brother and sister. There were a few with your nephews. A couple of you sleeping. You look so much like your dad. My favorite is the one of you as a two year old, with curly black hair (that you hated) and your bright blue eyes. That is the boy I remember the most.

All of us gathered outside, a little past 9:30 pm, to greet your brother, coming back from Afghanistan. He had a State Police escort, which brought him from the airport in lightening speed. He will be wearing his "blues" for you today, true Marine style. Your Mom and Dad hugged him tight and we all left to give him privacy with you. To give him a chance to see you, alone. To start his own grieving process.

Today, we are getting ready to say our final good-byes. I know that through the church service I will be crying for you. I will be crying for your family and I will be crying for the life you never had a chance to live.

I will pray for the driver, whose casket had to remain closed and for his family who has to live, not only with their son's death but yours too. I will pray for your dad, who is struggling and will continue to struggle with your death for the rest of his life.

I hope that out of today's sadness comes realization in all the teenagers that attend, that their lives dangle on a string, like us all.

May God shine on you B and may you watch over us all, today.

Much love,


Sassy said...

Very touching, very beautiful. I'm so sorry for your loss. For your friends loss.

All of you are in my prayers.

Much love to you...

Amy said...


Anonymous said...

Oh girl, I'm so sorry....

What a wonderful tribute for a life cut way too short.

I'm thinking of you and your family.