Saturday, July 26, 2008

Why Is Vacation So Exhausting?

It's the day before we leave and I think my legs are dead. Here is why.

1. Get up at 3 AM to pee. Listen to the baby singing.
2. Try and go back to sleep.
3. Get up at 6:15 AM, shower, get dressed.
4. Check map.
5. Breakfast. WAKE baby.
6. Leave at 7:15 AM w/ baby to pick up free toys.
7. Take a LONG ride to pick up toys.
8. Finally get toys.
9. Ride back.
10. Stop at big box retail store, hoping to pick up paper goods and snacks for trip.
11. Find empty parking lot and that the store doesn't open until 9 AM.
12. Swear.
13. Go to cheapest grocery store around.
14. Impressed and pick up everything on list.
15. Mental note to return, weekly.
16. Head home.
17. Unload a yit load of groceries.
18. Start laundry.
19. Sort more laundry.
20. Bring more laundry to the basement.
21. Decide laundry will never get done by tomorrow.
22. Go to empty dishwasher.
23. Find that dishes aren't even close to clean.
24. Realize dishwasher hasn't drained and is broken.
25. Curse at dishwasher.
26. Empty dishwasher of dirty gross dishes.
27. Manually wash dishes.
28. Note how much THAT is going to suck, after vacation.
29. Take dog out.
30. Feed and chase around dirty baby.
31. Attempt to clear of kitchen counters and organize food for trip.
32. Wipe fruit punch of kitchen floor.
33. Sit on deck with the baby.
34. Realize wilting plants need water.
35. Coax baby off deck and into house.
36. Realize there is no trash bag in trash can.
37. See trash in trash can with no trash bag.
38. Curse about uncaring children.
39. Go downstairs for the 100th time to get @#$%ing trash bag.
40. Children wake.
41. Baby squeals.
42. Children eat.
43. Lecture children about doing their own dishes due to #24.
44. Move into baby's room to dig out necessary items.
45. Sit and wonder how it will all fit into the jeep WITH our stuff.
46. Try and estimate how many diapers will be needed.
47. Let baby play with her floaty.
48. Listen to her shout "water" "water".
49. Get out two diaper bags. One for clothes and one for diapers.
50. Catch baby biting chunks out of floaty.
51. Distract baby with lotion.
52. Move back into kitchen.
53. Decide no more can be done in there.
54. Head into living room.
55. Realize it's been a LONG time since any cleaning has been done in this room.
56. Move into hallway to check on the cat area.
57. Find that it is abysmal.
58. Decide to wait for nap to clean either area.
59. Go back to kitchen and drink coke.
60. Decide coke needs chips and salsa.
61. Try and hide snack from baby.
62. Without success.
63. Clean up crushed chips and salsa mix.
64. Switch around laundry.
65. Wonder if it's nap time yet.
66. Notice excessive dust bunnies on stairs.
67. Sweep stairs.
68. Back in the kitchen, decide to sort mail.
69. Find baby screaming because the deck is hot on her bare feet.
70. Locate socks.
71. Notice fish tank is disgusting.
72. Clean it.
73. Lunchtime for the baby.
74. Nap time for the baby.
75. Clean front hall and cat area like a banshee.
76. Notice front porch is equally disgusting.
77. Clean front porch.
78. TAKE break. Check email.
79. Get message that reserved book is in.
80. Decide it would be great to take on trip.
81. Drop everything run to library.
82. Find Library CLOSED.
83. Cry in car.
84. Pull self together and stop at local hardware store.
85. Search for goggles and a blow up ring for the baaahbee.
86. Find BOTH. Head home.
87. More obsessive cleaning.
88. WAKE napping baby.
89. Children insist on taking baby outside so I can do stuff.
90. Listen to squeals of glee.
91. Head into 110 degree storage in search of suitcases.
92. Find both coolers.
93. See suitcases and realize stuff needs to be moved.
94. Sweat.
95. Get suitcases and lalalala about how they will fit in the jeep.
96. Cool off with more coke.
97. Decide now is the time to clean the living room.
98. Easier said then done.
99. Clean the boys room too because I'm on a roll.
100. Locate his TV manual and fix his TV.
101. Shout out to boy that his TV is fix.
102. More squeals of glee.
103. Children return with hyper baby.
104. Realize it's time for dinner.
105. Call from my man, on his way home.
106. Hungry baby cries for snacks.
107. Whip up burgers, sliced cucumber, mac n cheese.
108. Everyone EATS.
109. Clean up gigantic mess under high chair.
110. Give the 14 and 12 year-olds their bags to pack themselves.
111. Chuckle to myself.
112. More laundry.
113. Get kitchen back in order.
114. Bathe baby.
115. Get baby ready for bed.
116. Goodnight BABY.
117. Bask in the glow of #116.
118. Get bills together.
119. Pay bills for week, sort receipts.
120. Sigh heavily.
121. Walk dog, drop off mail and stop at ATM.
122. Die walking up the stairs, one last time.
123. Shut off lights, lock doors.
124. Realize another load of laundry is ready for folding.
125. Walk right by it.
126. Think about packing, TOMORROW.
127. Sit down to blog.
128. Realize this is a really long list.
130. No wonder I'm tired.
131. I'll stop now.

1 comment:

Holly said...

HOLY CRAP! I'm totally friggin exhausted just reading that! You REALLY need this vacation! I hope you can relax and enjoy your week!