The Constant Battle

Raising a teenager tends to involve a battle of "wills" these days. Earning privileges forgotten and more and more wanting seems to prevail.

I try to be consistent. I try to be reasonable. I am not the mother that "grounds" their child weekly. If it happens, it is due to some extreme circumstance.

I spent years of raising my oldest children to show respect for adults. In this house "no" means just that. It doesn't mean, beg more. This is something that I truly believe. If yes is even a remote option, it needs to be said upfront. I try to be consistent and I have high standards for my kids. Always.

The baby is no different. I am relentless. I know that my oldest children will see over time, as I raise my youngest under their watchful eye, why they are the well rounded individuals that they are.

Or so I hope.

That doesn't change the testing of wills, as they continue to grow and learn their life lessons. I have made no secret here that my daughter has a hard time getting up in the morning. I wish I could say it has gotten better but instead, with my new hours, it has gotten worse.

I wake her earlier than my other kids and it takes her even longer just to get herself ready. She has missed breakfast for several weeks now. I had it out with her, today, when I got home. We joked a bit about it but I made my point and she didn't disagree, she is having a hard time getting herself up and out the door in the morning. She could offer me nothing that would motivate her and admitted she becomes grumpy with each demand to move quicker or my yelling at her to simply GET UP.

But, tonight, when I came home from my second job and she was reluctant to give up the computer ... I lectured.

I lectured about how she cannot get herself up in the morning and the end result is three of us in the car waiting, while she FINALLY comes out and is a total grouch about it. I lectured about how no amount of being kind or yelling motivates her to move any faster. I lectured about how extra computer time, in the evening, is a privilege. Earned by being able to be ready on time every morning and not earned by an attitude of entitlement and treating her body poorly.

Being a voice of reason, sometimes, sucks. I love her so much and want so many great things to happen to her in her life and, even more so, I want her to appreciate them.

Even if she doesn't see that, right at this very moment.